Happy New Years

We've had some great New Year's Eve's in Dubai.

In the early days we would spend a huge amount of money to attend outrageous feasts at The Highland Lodge (the Legendary Lodge: I must blog about it sometime).

In 2000 we stayed in with a friend to watch the collapse of global civilization on CNN (remember the Millennium Bug?).

Subsequently: camping on Jebel Ali Beach.

Three years ago: a mega knees-up at Jebel Ali Club.

Two years ago, not feeling very festive: sitting on top of Jebel Ali and watching distant fireworks.

Last year: at the Amman Kempinski in Jordan.

Tonight: up the hill again, not bothered about partying (boring old f*rts!), hoping to get some great firework shots.

Possibly I wish I was in Jordan at this time - they've been having snow (140 people had to be airlifted from stranded cars) and I haven't seen real snow for yonks.

Anyway folks, whatever your plans for the night: enjoy it and stay safe! Best wishes, peace and prosperity an' all that to you all.

My resolutions for 2007: get fit, get less fat, leave the UAE. Jajaja.

Bye Bye Saddam...

So, almost the end of 2006 and am I glad! What a horrible year it has been - 'Peace On Earth' - yer jokin', aren't ya? And I don't expect 2007 to be any less violent. But at least we are rid of one hideous tyrant, and I am a bit surprised at the reported reaction on the 'Arab street' - 'yes, Saddam may have been a bad guy, but it was a shame to execute him on the first day of Eid Al-Adha', 'yes, he was a criminal, but what about Bush and Blair?', 'it was all an American plot'. Amazing. I doubt that there is one person on the planet that would deny Saddam's atrocities, but somehow it all comes back to the West.

Well, while I do not support the war in Iraq (it would have been far easier and cheaper to have Special Forces go in and take Saddam out), the people who tried Saddam, found him guilty and hanged him were Iraqis. The future of Iraq is in the hands of Iraqis. They can either unite or split, I personally don't care. It seems likely to me that something similar to the anarchy that prevails now would have happened anyway had some other party managed to overthrow Saddam. The point is that modern Iraq was always three blocs (Sunni, Shi'a and Kurd) bolted together as one. Nobody can force them to stay together. If the factions are too blinkered to see their mutual advantage in being one strong country rather than three feeble ones, then why not let them try it out and see how they get on?

Eid Mubarak

The Goose is Cooked

Over a month ago, Dubaibilly and Cher invited us to their place for Christmas Dinner. ‘We’re doing a goose’ they said. It would have been, what’s the word…’churlish’?, nay …’absolutely impossible’ to refuse. I’ve never tasted goose, and neither has BetterArf.

As it happened, all six of the invitees live in Jebel Ali Gardens, and so we arranged to meet at one apartment for some pre-drinkies and then share a people-carrier cab to the venue.

When we got to Bill & Cher’s, gifts and cards were exchanged, cameras were compared* and a bloody fabulous time was had by all. If you ever have a chance to eat some goose, or even cook it yourself, don’t miss it! It was fantastic. B & C also did honey-roast haraminal, sprouts, sprouts with chestnuts, glazed carrots, roast parsnips, roast tatties and bangers wrapped in bacon. Also gravy and a special orange sauce for the meat. Stuffing was served a bit late because someone had forgotten to cook it at the appointed time (but microwaves are marvlious things, aren't they).

This had been preceded by a delicious broccoli and Stilton soup, and was followed by syllabub, Christmas Pudding with custard, assorted cheeses and Port.

Oh, wow. I mean, it was a delicious meal, I actually managed to get to the end of it without falling asleep and without bursting open (although I felt like I might at one point). One of our party totally cracked me up during the cheese course. There was a plate of crackers for the cheese. Not a normal plate with a bit of a rim, this was a flat glass platter. He was looking at me as he swung the platter towards me, holding it at an angle of about 5 degrees towards the floor. I was watching the platter as, one by one, the biscuits fell off. By the time the platter reached me, it was empty. I was giggling hysterically, and John looked at the thing in his hand. ‘Where’s the ****ing biccies?’, he asked. I pointed at the trail of crackers he’d left behind. Jajaja!

A bit later, Billy was attempting to pour himself a glass of Port. The bottle refused to release any of its contents until the cork was removed. I have to confess that half an hour later, I did exactly the same thing – I reckon that Taylor’s Port bottles have a design flaw: they look like they are open even when they are not.

We sang along to a selection of Christmas tunes, playing from Cher’s I-Pod plugged into her Christmas present: a vertical donut full of speakers and a radio: it looked like a shrine to the I-Pod, which in a way it is.

*Cameras. Both Dubaibilly and myself got new cameras today. BetterArf gave me a Sony H2, a replacement for the H1 that I owned for three weeks before some Spanish asshole stole it in Valencia last August. Bliss bliss bliss! Plus a book on how to get the best out of such a machine. Dubaibilly got a top-end Canon digital SLR jobbie from Cher, plus a different book from BetterArf on how to get the best out of such a machine (how she knew this would be useful and appreciated I’ll never know – female intuition I guess). I read most of my book this morning and learnt one very valuable lesson: the thing that buggers up group shots is that somebody will blink. So before you shoot a group, you tell them all to close their eyes, then open them and smile. Then you shoot them, and they all have their eyes open! I tried it and it worked!

We had a very Merry Christmas. I hope you all did too!

A little faith

There was a professor of philosophy who was a deeply committed atheist. His primary goal for one required class was to spend the entire semester attempting to prove that God couldn't exist. His students were always afraid to argue with him because of his impeccable logic. For twenty years, he had taught this class and no one had ever had the courage to go against him.Sure, some had argued in

Sharjah

Regular readers of this blog may have sensed that I have a bit of antipathy towards our northern neighbour, the Emirate of Sharjah. Years ago, it was because whenever I went there I could usually find my destination ok, but I could never, ever, find the way out. Dubai did not feature on the signage system at all. 'snot like Dubai's important or anything. So my early memories of being in Sharjah were closely associated with those of being helplessly lost. And for at least the last five years Sharjah has been associated with being stuck in insane, ridiculous trafic jams.

The last few weeks have been interesting, because our panto rehearsals and peformances have been held at the Dubai Womens' College, which is a stone's throw from the Sharjah border. It's easy to get there on a Friday, fairly easy on a Saturday (weekend for Gubment employees), but a complete pain in the derriere on weekdays. It would take us two to three hours to get to the college from Jebel Ali, and about one hour to get back.

There are two phrases that will induce me to consider a trip to Sharjah...
1) 'Your cheque is ready'
2) 'Come for dinner, I'm doing Beef Wellington'.

Phrase 2 was uttered to me by Grumpy Goat about a week ago. Today was the day, an early Christmas dinner because his beloved has to work on Christmas Day. We were expected to be at Grumpy Goat Towers in Sunny Sharjah at 4pm, so we set off from Jebel Ali at 2.30. Amazingly we were in Sharjah by 3pm, so we jumped out at Al Ta'awon Mall and did a little shopping. Then we walked across the sand (feeling like we were in a foreign country) to arrive at the Towers half an hour early.

A splendid time was had by all. Thanks and Merry Christmas Mr Goat!

Dentist Appointment

A few weeks ago I had an appointment with the dentist for a routine check up. The check up revealed that a tooth of mine needed extensive work doing on it or have it extracted. Faced with a tough decision, my immediate reaction was to avoid having the tooth removed in order to:1, avoid the pain and2, keep as many of my teeth for as long as possible.Having had time to think about the choices

The earliest recorded pidgin - Maridi Arabic?

Some years ago, browsing in a bookstore, I came across a mention of a Mauritanian Arabic-based pidgin recorded by the medieval geographer Al-Bakri. For years since, I have been regretting not having written down the details; even reading through a copy of Al Bakri's description of North Africa brought no joy. Today, I finally found the mention again, and managed to track down the original reference - and understand why I didn't find it before...

Al-Bakri (1014-1097) was a noted geographer and less noted writer from Huelva in modern-day Spain. His description of North Africa was the most detailed since Roman times, and his descriptions of West Africa are among the earliest surviving - despite the fact that he himself never seems to have left Spain, relying instead on travellers' descriptions. Only some twelve manuscripts of his greatest work, al-Masālik wal-Mamālik, survive, none complete. The passage containing the pidgin text, unfortunately, is absent from most printed editions of al-Bakri, including every edition that I could find at SOAS: according to Thomason and Elgibali, "we have found our text only in a printed copy of al-Bakrī located in the national library of Egypt in Cairo; this copy is dated 1943, but we do not know who compiled it or - more importantly - what its manuscript source was."

Without further ado, here is the text, as given by Thomason and Elgibali, who apparently found it somewhere in a section describing Aswan and other Egyptian towns:

Someone told me that a dignitary from the people of Aswan used to travel a lot. One day he reached a small town called Maridi. Upon his return, he said to the prince of the believers: 'Sir, may God give you plenty of good and honour your face, here is my case! Its goal is to preserve and spread the word of God. The Blacks have mutilated our beautiful language and spoiled its eloquency [sic] with their twisted tongues. During my visit, Sir - may God protect you - only God's guidance helped me escape the dangers and understand their miserable Arabic. Sometimes, and may God forgive me if I did wrong, I could only laugh at what they called Arabic; and may God forgive me if I call what they uttered Arabic. Listen, Sir:

[and here I add my entirely conjectural vocalisation; for the original, see below] bī waħid yūm rādūl, Dūmā lū 'isim. damal lū 'ū wa bin lū 'ū. 'umnī dī rūħ 'a`adnī bī maħall. kīk lū 'ūl "ħaram, 'inta barbar, bin mū rūħ, 'inta barbar; 'a`adū!" 'umnī damal fū' 'ū, kīk lū 'ūl "ħaram, 'inta barbar, bin 'a`ad, dūmā rūħ." kīk lū 'ūl ħaram 'inta barbar. Dūmā 'ūl: "kīk mū diyyid mū muhī."

One day there was a man whose name was Jumu`a. He had a camel and a son. They were going to stay in a place. People(?) said to him, "Shame! You are a barbarian! Your son should not walk, you barbarian; seat him!" They were on the camel. People(?) said to him, "Shame! You are a barbarian!" The son sat and Jumu`a walked. ̂People(?) said to him, "Shame! You are a barbarian!" Jumu`a said "People(?) are neither good nor important."

The prince of the believers ordered that his need be met.

The chances of copyists having mangled this bizarre passage are high; the chances that the printers mangled it (or left out whatever vocalisation might have been present) makes the situation even worse. (Certainly De Slane's edition shows instances of both; thus his īħan Yākūš, given as Berber for "God is one", is almost certainly a mistake for ījan Yākūš, by the omission of a dot.) However, it shows some striking features.

The near-absence of morphology, the apparent presence of tense particles, and the simplification of the phonology are all suggestive of a pidgin, and a pidgin is exactly what one would expect given the nature of the trans-Sahara trade. Phonetically, the substitution of ' for qāf is characteristic of lower Egypt and the Levant, but also of several city dialects in the Maghreb and of Maltese; the substitution of d for j is widespread in upper Egypt, but I know of no modern dialect that has both features. The word kīk scarcely looks like Arabic; Thomason & Elgibali suggest a possible interpretation, based on two etymons reportedly widespread in Nilo-Saharan (koi "person", -k "plural"), as "people".

Where was this pidgin spoken? Unfortunately, the text is thoroughly vague on this point, and Maradi's location is unknown. The paragraph after it is a condensed version of a passage elsewhere in al-Bakri describing the Lamtūna tribe of Mauritania, so Thomason and Elgibali suggest that it was spoken in Mauritania; however, Owens notes that both the phonetics of the text and the attribution to a person from Aswan (not to mention the possible presence of a Nilo-Saharan word) suggest a location somewhere in modern-day Sudan.

Of course, until someone finds the manuscript containing this passage, I will be unable to banish a slight suspicion that this whole passage might be an obscure joke by the printers (whoever they might be - the book in Cairo in question does not appear in Thomason and Elgibali's bibliography) on linguists worldwide... However, if authentic (and it scarcely seems likely that the printers would have made it up), this may well be the earliest attested passage in a pidgin, and certainly the earliest Arabic-based pidgin reported. It also provides an illustration of several rather common responses to pidgins and creoles: the half-shocked half-amused contempt for its differences from the lexifier language, the idea that the pidgin itself constitutes an obstacle to learning that needs to be overcome by education in the lexifier language, and the idea that this latter task is the state's responsibility.

PS (23 Dec): In Arabic, this story is more usually told of Juha; it occurs to me that دوما (Dūmā) may well be a misreading/miscopying of دوها (Dūhā), which would be a plausible rendition of Juha, rather than of the rather unusual name Jumu`a.

Arabic: (unfortunately, the portion given starts at "Sir, may God give you plenty of good"; the typeface is also extraordinarily blurry. I have taken the liberty of adding some punctuation.)

مولاي الخليفة جزاك الله خيرا وأكرم وجهك، إليك قضيتي ومحتواها حفظ كلمة الله ونشرها... فإن السود قد قطعوا اوصال لغتنا الجميلة تقطيعا وأفسدوا بيانها بشرير ألسنتهم المعوجة، فأثناء زيارتي (حفظك الله) كان إلهام الله ووحيه المعينين الوحيدين للنجاة من الأخطار وفهم ما أرادوا قوله لي بعربيتهم المزرية، فأحيانا يا مولاي (وسامحني الله إن أخطئت) كنت لا أملك الضحك على عربيتهم - وليسامحني: الله إن أطلقت على ما نطقوا بها اسم العربية، فاسمع يا سيدي:

بي وحد يوم رادول دوما لو اسم دمل لو او وبن لو او امني دي روح اعدي بي محل كيك لو لوب حرم انت بربر بن مو روح انت بربر لو اعدو امني دمل فوء او كيك لو اول حرم انت بربر بن اعد دوما روح كيك لو اول حرم انت بربر دوما اول كيك مو ديد مو مهي

Bibliography:

• Al-Bakri, Description de l'Afrique septentrionale, M. G. De Slane, trans. (Alger, 1913).
  
• Jonathan Owens. "Arabic-based Pidgins and Creoles", in Contact languages: a wider perspective, ed. Sarah G. Thomason. Amsterdam: John Benjamins 1996.
  
• Sarah G. Thomason and Alaa Elgibali. "Before the Lingua Franca: Pidginized Arabic in the Eleventh Century A.D.". Lingua 68 (1986) 317-349.

Shaykh Haji Imdadullah Makki

Shaykh Haji Imdadullah Muhajir Makki (Rahmatullahi Alayhi)[1233 – 1317 AH] (1814 – 1896 AD) Haji Imdadullah Muhajir Makki (Rahmatullahi Alayhi) was such a great personality that the title given to him by his contemporary Ulama was “Sheikhul Mashaikh” which means the leader of leaders.His personality was well respected by the Ulama of the sub continent India and Pakistan and also by the Arab Ulama

Google Games

A lot of people like to play games with Google. For example Googlebombing - where a group of people post identical links on various websites or blogs in order to influence Google's results (eg, getting Google to display Dubya's website as number one for the search term 'miserable failure') or Googlewhacking - where you aim to discover a two-letter phrase that returns exactly one result.

My reason for posting about this is that I've just invented a new one: Googleloner. You invent a word, and a search for that word returns one main result. Try this: haraminal. Of course, this will only work for a day or two until Google picks up this post, and then we'll have two results. No doubt etymologists in the future will be using Google and other search engines to establish when new words come into circulation.

Bye the way, I'm still number one in Google for 'disingenuous tosh'!

Back to Normality. Aharrr!

So we've just finished our manic Panto weekend. A dress rehearsal and two shows on Friday, and two shows today. Our audiences loved it, and so did we. It was extremely tiring, but great fun.

There is nothing on Earth like a British Panto. It's a hugely stylised form of theatre: there are traditional elements such as the Dame (a man dressed as a woman), the Principal Boy (a girl dressed as a boy), audience participation - 'he's behind you!' - 'oh yes it is, oh no it isn't' - random kids being dragged up on stage for a spot of humiliation - throwing sweets at the kids - splitting the audience for a singsong - making them boo and hiss at the baddies, making them all go 'aaah'. Pour in a dash of innuendo for the parents, throw in some local jokes, singing and dancing to popular songs related to the show, over-the-top acting, and, DING-DONG! You have a pantomime.

It surprises me that Pantomime really only exists in the UK - for sure there will be amateur groups of Britpats doing pantos in Singapore, Hong Kong, Dubai, Abu Dhabi and even Ras Al Khaimah and other far-flung places. In the Dubai Drama Group we have always had a smattering of non-UK actors wondering what the hell was going on. For several years we had a core of Filipino Chorus-boys who never showed up for any other kind of play but were always mad keen to be in the Panto.

If I ever get asked to compile a list of things that define British Culture, it could not be complete without Pantomime.

So now it's all over - I can throw away my script and not worry about it again: all that remains to be said is "Merry Christmas One And All".

No Arabic please, we're American

If you haven't already seen it, the Baker report brought to light a piece of epic stupidity in Iraq:

All of our efforts in Iraq, military and civilian, are handi-
capped by Americans’ lack of language and cultural understanding. Our embassy of 1,000 has 33 Arabic speakers, just six of whom are at the level of fluency. In a conflict that demands effective and efficient communication with Iraqis, we are often at a disadvantage. There are still far too few Arab language–proficient military and civilian officers in Iraq, to the detriment of the U.S. mission.

Why make such an easily fixable mistake? I suspect because they view most of America's large population of fluent Arabic speakers as security risks - although apparently other factors play a role too...

(Hat tip: Aqoul.)

The Uninvited Guest

We are all uninvited guests when we arrive in a foreign country whether we are just visiting or are planning to stay a while. That is not to say "unwelcomed" but it does mean it is on us to conform to the social norms and cultural demands of a given country. One person cannot change a culture. We must bend to culture. Rest assured that no matter which country you choose to live, no matter how close it is, geographically, to your home country there will be culture differences that are both evident and not so evident.

Living in a foreign country is about acceptance. Once realizing what cultural norms we enjoy and what we don't enjoy so much, it's time to decide if we can live with and accept the things we don't enjoy so much. If we can accept the things that are less than appealing about the host country, it's a good sign that we can stay and be happy. If said factors cannot be accepted, more than likely its a good idea to leave.

When I lived in Thailand, for the first months, I was very happy. The people are friendly, the weather is great and the pay is reasonable considering it's south-east Asia. However the minor things that bothered me just a bit at first began to grow until I could no longer avoid my real feelings. The problems I had with culture were related to the lack of expressing personal opinions, true feelings and asking the question,"why"which is similar in many Asian countries. It's something I can never change about the culture but is something I need to have healthy relationships in my life. So ultimately I left for the Western world even though there will always be a special place in my heart for Thailand. Great place to visit, it just isn't the right country for me to live.

Pantomania, me hearties. Aharrr!

I told you a few months ago that Betterarf and I had been cast in the forthcoming Dubai Drama Group production of Treasure Island. And I don't think I've mentioned it since. But we have been rehearsing steadily for the last few months and now we are almost there: there will be four performances next weekend - two on Friday 15th and two on Saturday 16th. It's gonna be great fun for children of all ages (we're talking about panto here so clichés are compulsory). The venue is the Auditorium at Dubai Women's College.

Last weekend and this one we have been rehearsing and set building at the venue. We did a full run in costume tonight and it's really coming together: it is a very funny and entertaining show.

You can buy tickets online at the DDG website or Time Out .

رحلة إجبارية مع مليشيا جيش المهدي (edit)

a new blog, in Arabic, find credit goes to Ms.Tita.
iraqi blogs in arabic hold a dear place in my heart, i cant write much in arabic because i am not eloquent enough!
so, without further ado, i will leave you with Nabeel al Iraqi's own words:


حكايات رجل يعيش في بغداد

ما يحدث في بغداد لا يحدث كثيرا في أماكن أخرى.... سأروي لكم بعض ما حدث ويحدث ولكني لا أعدكم أن كل ما يحدث فيها جميل!!

من أنا: أنا شاب من هذا الوطن..قدري أن أولد هنا..وقدري كبقية العراقيين أن أعاني...ولكن مازالت شعلة الامل فينا لاتنطفئ...وجأت كي أشارككم ما أرى...

EDIT: "People, please check stuff before you write, there are multiple blogs here that are not onBlogspot. -Kid."

Once upon a Pumpkin-Nibbler's life!

Whoops - missed this one! A not so new blogger starting a new blog...

Riot Starter is turning out to be a serial blogger. Since starting university she declares that she has stopped blogging as herself but is now blogging as Pumpkin Nibbler. And her new blog follows the conversations and desires off her group of first-year university students and more. "Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life." she says.

IBC Maintenance

I have deleted all nonexistent blogs as well a couple of unrelated blogs, separated the abandoned blogs from ones which are still active, and the result is as you see it. Down from 212 to 110. This was not a methodical business, I have made some mistakes here and there but the error margin could be by the approximity of 1 to 5 blogs.
This is one of several ideas I have for this site, and perhaps the most boring. Expect more in the future.

A Kings Dream

Shaykh Maseehullah rahmatullahi alayh relates,‘Once a king had a dream wherein he observed a very large tray containing many varieties, shapes and sizes of flowers. Suddenly a knife appeared from above and cut these flowers; it would cut both large and small flowers.At this point the king awoke and began to ponder upon the meaning of this strange dream. He related it to his Court Mu’abbirs (

The grammar of talking to yourself

In the Dark Ages, too, linguists sometimes got a little worked up over theoretical differences (if a work of fiction is to be believed):

"Those were times when, to forget an evil world, grammarians took pleasure in abstruse questions. I was told that in that period, for fifteen days and fifteen nights, the rhetoricians Gabundus and Terentius argued on the vocative of 'ego' [I], and in the end they attacked each other, with edged weapons." - Umberto Eco, The Name of the Rose

In a sense, one would expect that "I" should really have a vocative - certainly people talk to themselves sometimes - yet Latin's lack of a vocative "I" is paralleled in English. If John (that old linguists' standby) tells himself "John, get up and do some work", the sentence is not grammatically odd; if he tells himself "*I, get up and do some work" or "*Me, get up and do some work", neither sentence is grammatically possible. Note that no such restriction applies to non-vocative uses; it would be equally grammatical for John to tell himself "I'm in luck!" or "You're in luck!" Even resorting in desperation to the archaic English vocative "O" yields nothing: "O I!" is ridiculous, and "Oh me!" is already in use as a rather silly exclamation. So why should the vocative of "I" be so hard to form?

Update: Thanks to Language Hat, I have learned of an interesting post on the very grammarian of whom Eco is writing.

Iraqi Geek

www.iraqigeek.com

As the name suggests, by large technology blog, with useful tutorials as to how to fix your own laptop, it is the sort of thing that would make Salam Adil proud. Sometimes, however, traces of humanity can still be detected, as evidenced by his recent posts. What makes it refreshing is that he doesn't talk about politics that much.

Hanbook for Students of Arabic

Click on the title of this post, or here for a free handbook about learning Arabic for students.

The following is taken from NMELRC.org

Handbook for Students of Arabic

This online handbook is an introduction to strategies and resources that can help you, the student, in your study of the Arabic language. It has been developed under the auspices of the National Middle East Language Resource Center (NMELRC)

This handbook is primarily for the beginning student, but intermediate and advanced students may also profit from this information.

This information is of course not comprehensive or exhaustive. Above all, we hope that you find this information practical and even the bits of “theory” applicable to your needs. This handbook helps fulfill the NMELRC's mission to be "a coordinated concentration of educational research and training resources for improving the capacity to teach and learn foreign languages."

A mind of a 13 year old Iraqi girl

I remember when I was 13. It was a time of mental conflict and intense confusion. What with puberty and discovering girls as something other than annoying aliens for the first time.

I really, really dont want to know what goes on in the mind of a 13 year old. So it is with some trepidation that I approached this blog. But this reminds me of the fun side of being 13. A time of approaching the grown up world without disappointments or inhibitions. Exploring new ideas with a sense of enjoyment.

35 Today!

Today is UAE National Day, ie the 35th anniversary of the formation of the United Arab Emirates. So Happy Birthday UAE, you've come an incredibly long way in a very short time.

It is also the 19th birthday of our very own offspring.

Traditionally in our house we put up the Christmas tree on this day, but there might be a problem today. Having lost the original metal/plastic stand many years ago, we usually stick the (fake) tree in a bucket of sand scavenged from outside. But it has rained continuously through the night, and is still tipping it down at 8am, so any sand we could get would be more like mud. Ho hum.

UPDATE: We've just unpacked the tree, and lo and behold, the plastic stand that has been missing for at least two years was sitting there in the box, looking all smug!

I miss Iraq

A&Eiraqi lived his dreams. He left Iraq months ago to pusue a career in medicine in London. But like many Iraqis he longs for home. And this is what he misses:

A special smile, which expresses thankfulness and a few words with which people pray to Allah asking him to give his mercy to my parents.
Neighbors, who didn’t mind knocking my door even at midnight seeking for help.
Friends who always supported me and I supported them.
The Iraqi poetry which, I recall wherever I go. That sadness which covers every aspect of our life.

The Language Exchange

So you've arrived in the country of choice but you are less than fluent in the local language. You have several options;

You could pay for language lessons. It does help especially if you are a low beginner. However, language lessons can be expensive and have inconvenient hours if you are working everyday.

You could decide to do nothing, with the attitude that the language will just come as, after all, you do live there. This option is very possible but know that language acquisition does not come without active participation. That means you actually have to talk... a lot to reach your language speaking goals.

One way that encourages the activity of speaking is a "language exchange". Here you meet with a native of the country where you live who would like to improve their English. You do an hour of English conversation and an hour of the native language. This method is two-fold; You are increasing your exposure to the native language and culture of your new home but also you are meeting people. One of the struggles of living in a foreign country is making friends who are natives as opposed to your fellow English teachers. Regularly meeting with people for the purpose of exchanging language automatically puts us in a potential social situation. You can meet at a cafe, go to an art exhibit together... anything that promotes conversation. Chances are your language exchange friends have other native friends who would like to meet you as well. What could be better?

Speaking Arabic in public; or: don't say Yallah

You may have heard about the imams who got taken off a plane in the US (Minneapolis) because some passenger thought they were suspicious. Apparently:

Before passengers boarded, one became alarmed by an overheard discussion. "They seemed angry," he wrote in a police statement. "Mentioned 'U.S.' and 'killing Saddam.' Two men then swore slightly under their breath/mumbled. They spoke Arabic again. The gate called boarding for the flight. The men then chanted 'Allah, Allah, Allah.'"

It's bizarre the way that "They spoke Arabic again" seems to be characterised as somehow suspicious in itself - but the part that really makes me think "duhhhh!" is "The gate called boarding for the flight. The men then chanted 'Allah, Allah, Allah.'" It's obvious what they must really have been saying (although I haven't seen any paper point this out): Yallah, yallah, meaning "come on! let's go!". If even the use of the word "Allah" alarms some paranoid passengers, then Arabs will be hard-pressed to speak at all - between inshallah, hamdulillah, and bismillah alone (let alone yallah or wallah) you could easily reach at least one mention of "Allah" every couple of sentences in a completely mundane conversation! I hope this is an isolated instance rather than a trend.

In related news, speaking Yan-Nhangu is apparently suspicious as well...

In unrelated news, I thought Tulugaq's Google Map of Inupiaq was pretty cool, as is Sydney Place Names - I hope this is a trend.

Pease Pudding Hot, Pease Pudding Cold

Hands up, how many of you have ever experienced the delights of Pease Pudding? It's a peasant dish from the North East of England, and I like to think of it as 'Geordie hummous'. I used to hate it when I was a kid, but after I'd lived away from home for a few years I actually tasted some that my mother had made, announced that I quite liked it, and for every trip home thereafter there was a huge bowl of freshly-made pease pudding.

It's amazingly simple to make. The finished article should set to a spreadable consistency. Take a couple of handfuls of yellow split peas (chana dal, in these parts). Soak them in water for a few hours. Chop an onion into smallish bits, chuck 'em into a pan containing two or three litres of salted water, rinse and drain the peas and hurl them into the pan from a height of eight feet*. Bring to boil, cover and simmer for a couple of hours. That's basically it. The peas and onion will disintegrate and you'll be left with a thickish goo - you might need to let the goo reduce over a high heat for a bit to get the consistency right. At this point you can either stir in a big blob of butter and transfer it to a bowl to set, or you can tie it in a piece of cheesecloth and hang it over a sink for the excess moisture to drain away (I've never used this method but my mother always did).

Another variation is to add the knuckle of a haraminal at the start of cooking. This releases gelatin which helps the setting. When it's all cooked you can strip the meat from the bone, shred it into, well, shreds, and stir them into the goo.

Oh, by the way, the title of this post refers to a bit of an old English nursery rhyme:

Pease pudding hot,
Pease pudding cold,
Pease pudding in the pot,
Nine days old.

It really does improve over time, but nine days is pushing it a bit!

*made-up instruction, ignore.

Aramex

Never let it be said that I don't give credit where credit is due.

I received a package from Aramex this morning. No fuss, no hassle, no phone calls asking 'where is your location', no confusion about where I would be at what time. The guy just turned up at my house and gave me the package.

Cool.

Uncivil War in UAE

I've been thinking about writing this post for a while, but it took me reading a few posts on other blogs to push me into it. I'll be up all night writing this, but I feel it has to be done. So here goes.

The true value of any post on any blog is to be found in the comments for that post. It'll take you a while, but read the original posts and then read all of the comments. It won't make you feel good, but it will give you the background to what I'm going to witter on about. Here are the posts:

Local papers upset by 7Days article

How do you get UAE nationality?

Expats to blame for 90% of their problems

Reading these things, you might get the idea that there is open warfare on the streets between locals and expats. It's not actually happening yet although it might explain some of the driving on Sheikh Zayed Road.

I am probably as unhappy about the demographic imbalance in the UAE as any local. In case you don't know, the population of the UAE comprises something like 80% expat to 20% local. If I was a local here I would be seriously irritated by that. But as an expat, all I can say is 'it's not my fault, I have a perfect right to be here, as do most of the others. And I'm leaving next summer.'

If locals are feeling swamped by foreigners then I suggest they take it up with 'the concerned authorities'. But here's the thing. As far as I can make out, the plans for the future of Dubai suggest even more foreigners arriving. Anyone who wants to buy property in the UAE will be made quite welcome. Although not to the extent of having guaranteed right of residency or anything like that.

The problem lies in the fact that there are so few actual locals. The post on Balushi's blog indicates some kind of a problem. If the authorities will not give passports to huge numbers of people who clearly are entitled, then the expat:local ratio can do nothing but go down.

I worry about the quality of the gene pool. The UAE discourages marriage with foreigners, but it does not object to you marrying your cousin. Consequently there is a high risk of children being born with genetic defects such as thallasaemia.

I personally have no desire whatsoever to become a UAE national, but there are plenty of expats who do. Grown-ups and trailing spouses generally know what they are getting into, but their kids who are born here have no say in the issue. They grow up here and know no other place as 'home'. This really bugs me. I know a lot of kids in that situation, and I feel that something should be done.

The UAE has this idea that it is building a nation, and for that it needs imported labour. It also needs architects, designers, engineers, project managers etc, to design and build these projects. These senior people need housing and schooling and healthcare for themselves and their children (the labourers don't, they are here as 'bachelors'). They will do their jobs and leave. But if we ever get to a stage where there is no more building, there will still be a huge need for people to do the menial jobs - the bus and truck drivers, shopworkers, garbage collectors, street cleaners, domestic helpers etc. If an Emirati would stoop so low as to do any of those jobs then good luck to them. Otherwise you are stuck with these expat workers forever, so quit whinging about it.

Where I part ways with some locals (especially the younger ones) is when they say 'we built this country, we don't need you foreigners, kindly go away'. They did not build this country in any way, shape or form. 35 years ago, possibly more, Sheikh Rashid bin Saeed Al Maktoum realised that there was this thing called 'oilandgas' out there in the Gulf, and that it would make his emirate rich. He envisaged setting up all kinds of things that a proper town/city needs and so he brought in Seven Wise Men from the UK to help him build the required infrastructure: hospital, port, airport, water, electricity, police and army. Those guys (and I knew a few of them) were treated like princes during Rashid's lifetime, and were given houses to live in and residency until they died.

Now, I see a lot of things written by locals complaining that expats do not respect the Emirati culture. And I'm really sorry that I have to ask this, having lived here for twelve years, but what exactly is 'Emirati' culture? If you strip out anything that is part of Islam? Or common to other GCC countries (falcons, horses, henna, that thing you do when you don't want any more coffee, buying cars you can't afford on credit, crippling yourself with bank loans and credit cards, etc)?

The UAE seems to have some kind of obsession with 'racial purity'. The truth is that there is no such thing as a 'pure race', and especially not in the UAE. If there was, it would die out pretty quickly because you must have genetic diversity to keep your gene pool strong. UAE nationals can trace their roots back to Iran, Iraq, anywhere on the Arabian peninsula, India, Zanzibar, Sudan, wherever. I doubt that you could find one person who could say that they had three generations of forbears who lived in this part of the world. And even if you could, it's such a tiny group of folk that it would be most unwise to restrict your nationality based on that.

And that's nothing to be ashamed about. If you look at the history of Western countries, you will see wave after wave of invaders, intermarriage, more invaders, etc. This kind of stuff enriches civilizations, deepens the gene pool and is generally a good thing.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is 'don't blame the foreigners'. We are here for various purposes, mostly to work and try to make money. We get a fairly rotten deal these days with stagnant salaries, rampant inflation and a worsening quality of life. It is not in the nature of Westerners to sit back and accept these things without making some kind of comment. To get back to the original starting point of this post: 7Days will continue to say what it wants to say. If that upsets journos working for the more restricted Arabic-language press then don't blame 7Days, blame whoever it is that puts restrictions on what you can write about.

At the end of the day, the UAE is joining every international club going. It has to allow freedom of speech. It is inching its way towards democracy. It is the key link between the Arab world and the West.

Linked post: You owe it to yourself:

now, first of all, i'll point your attention to this experiment in virtue, proposed by KyuBei, in it, he says that instead of talking on and on about good things, why not try DOING them for a change?

now, doing good, is the hardest thing in the world, and its also the most natural thing in the world.

its easier to watch tv than go pray
its easier to hoot and cat-call instead of respecting someone's feelings.
its easier to take 100$ than to give 10$.
its easier to rant blindly than to consider the other's point of view.

yet, have you actually tried doing something good?
you know how it feels?
how do one recognizes a good thing? hah! are you kidding me?

"Do unto others as you wish others do unto you."

i say this over and over and over, but, its sooo much easier to ignore and wave this away as lunatic ravings, than to actually look inside.

You DON'T have to go shout it out in the streets, you DON'T have to go preaching to others, no sir/ma'am! before thinking about telling others, why not tell it to yourself?

what can we do? hmm. so many things, so little time:
1. stop being dishonest.
2. respect yourself, in order to respect others.
3. heyyyy.. you KNOW what to do, you dont need me to tell you!

now, i'm not such a goody-goody two-shoes as i wish i'd be, hell no!
You know you're better than me, right?
ok, then please, show me how!
but more importantly, show yourself how.

give it a shot, you will NOT lose anything, if at the end you still wanna blow it, you will be your old self again, happy and content as you are.

for iraqis (and everyone else as well):
just how many of us, belonging to (group X), have said over and over "i have many friends in (group Y)" but deep down inside, you feel they are not the same?

"oh those rotten Sunnis"
"oh those rotten Shi'as"
"oh those rotten _____"

how many of us have said it in private?

"oh screw you, what do you know? dreamer! they're trying to kills us, you know"

- fine, pick up a weapon (or a pen, your choice), fight back those who fight you.
but let me ask you first: are ALL people in the other group out to get you?

learn to seperate between a rotten apple and a healthy apple-tree.
we have become the very same thing we fear.

"this is fine and dandy on paper, let me see you try it!"

- well, here's the thing: have you tried talking to a wall?
it wont work, i assure you.
i'm not saying go tell it to the next militia-member/zarqawi-boy/power-ranger you meet, cuz you and i both know the result.
i'm not even saying start a chain-letter!

i'm just saying, tell it to YOURself, to YOUR family, YOUR friends.
believe me, every person counts.
and without support, any wall crumbles.

"scoff scoff! you idjut! you're trying to patch a sinking ship!"

- well, its better than just jump overboard and hope for the best.
this way i'm doing something. You're doing something.


hell, don't we all want to become better?
i'm NOT gonna make you better, Kyubei's NOT gonna make you better.
YOU are gonna make yourself better.

this is not going to cost you anything, not money, not effort (physical or mental), not even time. (except maybe time to read it, but hey, if your time was so bloody important, you wouldn't have been browsing blogs in the first place, would you?)

:)

try it.

bug-code

call @f
@@:
sub dword ptr [esp],5 ;where call @f takes five bytes!
invoke Sleep,1000
ret

This is the funniest way I have seen to create an infinite loop in a long time. I thought I was a real programmer until I read bug-code. Buggycoder is a geek's geek. So, if you were secretly wondering how to handle structured exceptions in machine code or enjoy hacking the desktop.scf file or get depressed (yes, seriously) using the stack for data storage, this is the blog for you.

Buggycoder says:

this blog will be dedicated to publish my daily experience in computers ,as you will notice most of the things I discover was just a hobby nothing less nothing more ...

So get thrilled cos I am planning to post things varies from security news,asm,c,scripts,OS tweaks...and alot other stuff some of them will be crucially lame others will be 1337 :lol: .

I can't wait!

Middle Finger Crime

The getting-worse-by-the-day Emirates Toady reports on the case of a British gentleman in court for allegedly flashing his middle finger at a local. I couldn't believe this story. Apparently this is the fifth 'middle-finger crime' incident to hit the courts in Dubai this year. People have been jailed and one was even deported for doing something that most people would not give a second thought to.

The Toady explains, for the benefit of us decency-challenged readers: 'Showing the middle finger - a Western gesture of insult and rejection - is considered tantamount to slander in the UAE.' Actually I did not know that. How can it be slander? Slander is a groundless or downright wrong verbal accusation made against someone. If what you said can be proved to be true, then no offence has been committed. In the case of middle-finger-waving, what are they presuming the finger-waver is saying? Something bad, no doubt. But what if it was justified by the actions of the other person? Sadly, the Emirates Toady report is lacking in detail: it states that the accused was asked whether he had any witnesses to support his claim that he was not waving his finger, but merely gesturing at his head to indicate to the other party that thinking about what he was doing would be a good idea. There is no mention of whether the 18-year-old local in his car with tinted windows had any witnesses.

Grrr...what a waste of time and money.

Also in today's Toady, Managing Editor Eudore R Chand makes a bid to take over where KT's Galadari left off. He's written a leader in which he claims that road tolls will make all our lives better. He seriously seems to think that the dhs 4 toll on part of Sheikh Zayed Road and the Garhoud Bridge will actually make a big difference to driving on these roads. Maybe it will, but it will be at the expense of total and utter gridlock on alternative routes like Al Wasl and Beach Roads, Emirates Road and the Maktoum Bridge and Shindagah Tunnel. For those who cannot or will not pay the toll, life will become even more of a nightmare than it already is.

Oops, that wasn't very positive was it? I hope the RTA will think again about this plan: Dubai needs serious alternative public transport infrastructure up and running before using tolls to drive people off the roads.

"An elaborate series of grunts and gestures"

More in the weird colonial-era language books series - this time "The Siwi Language", by W. Seymour Walker, F.R.G.S (Late Royal Artillery), with a foreword by His Excellency Wilson Pasha (Governor, Western Desert Province of Egypt), 1921:

There are no interjections in Siwi which are sufficiently constant to be worth committing to paper.
Their meaning is expressed by an elaborate series of grunts and gestures which can only be acquired by practice.

And:

There is only one noun-adj. in Siwi in which the masc. and fem. forms are identical:
zlèta, naked, bare
Note 30. This exception is a good example of the construction of the Siwi vocabulary, and illustrates one of the reasons for its paucity. Amongst the women a naked female is quite a possibility, but to the general Siwani mind, it is so inconceivable, and so contrary to all established customs, that no special word-form has been evolved to cope with such an obvious phenomenon.

If you want to hear what Siwi is really like, the indefatigable Madi has put a Siwi audio file up on Tawalt: the Story of Prince Sayf. With a bit of help from books like Walker's (and more usefully Laoust's), I can make out a fair bit of it. Remarkably, Siwi has borrowed Arabic's comparative form, as you can hear in the second sentence.

Why, Dubai?

Rejected tells us her story of an Iraqi woman as it develops. From starting work in multinational companies in Baghdad after the war to life as a skilled Iraqi exile seeking work in Dubai. The comma in the title is significant. She not answering the question "Why Dubai?", she is asking Dubai "Why?". Why do you reject me? She writes:

Had I been a gypsy dancer, Pilipino escort or Russian club singer, I would have been received in open arms and granted residency in UAE.

Why?

being a decent Iraqi hard worker female made me lose my job in UAE and my future.

Why? Maybe we will find the answer maybe not. Its the journey that counts.

I Aint'nt Dead

Just TBTB again.

However, I know you're all on tenterhooks to know how does my garden grow. Well, the spuds are massive and the peas are hurtling skywards. I have some coriander shoots that are very slowly not doing much.

Fresh this morning I noticed six teeny onion shoots and two carrots. The carrots are such a dark green that you can barely spot them against the soil.

And what of the Basil Babies? Well, I think they are cress. Having shot up at an alarming rate, they haven't showed any signs of growing any more, and they certainly don't look like basil. Ah well.

Semi-Death

Semi-Death is an Iraqi Heavy Metal/Progressive Metal band currently based in Amman, Jordan. Band members are Ahmed, Ali and Sultan. Their official website is here, and their myspace page is here.

They may be among the last members of the underground heavy metal scene in Iraq to leave the country.

Another Iraqi heavy metal band is Saddam's Family (no blog). They are moderately successful in Finland.

New today: 1
Total: 223

Aljazeera in English - hmmm. interesting

Here it is folks: http://english.aljazeera.net/News Aljazeera in English. I think it will be most interesting to see what happens with this development.

It will be fun to see how they translate certain terms. For example, I noticed that Aljazeera used the term "Palestinian fighter" when the BBC used "Palestinian militant" to describe the same event in the news today.

I understand that Aljazeera has different politics, but why did they choose the term "fighter"? It sounds so unnatural and odd. I know they are looking for a more neutral word...but "fighter"? غريب. How about something like "combatant"?

This is going to be most interesting.

Article about learning Gulf Arabic

Click on the title of this post to read an article about learning Gulf Arabic. The Article is from gulfnews.com and includes a general introduction of Arabic and some resources for learning the Gulf dialect.

Setting up in a Foreign Country

How to go about setting up in a foreign country all depends on the country of choice and the desired job. Assuming you want to teach English, it's possible to get practically all the setting up done before you arrive if you want to teach in Japan, Korea or China assuming you have at the minimum a college degree of any discipline. Jobs can be arranged via internet and often jobs locate housing for you. As for the rest of the world, the best jobs are not on the internet, it's often better to go there and search for work.

South-east Asia is probably one of the easiest regions to "show up" and "set up" simply because there is a high demand for English and there is a low cost of living. More specifically, Thailand, Vietnam and Indonesia.

While there is a strong demand for English in Central and South America, know that the pay is very low. It is , however, relatively affordable, as well, to show up, locate housing and start up. In fact you should do just that simply because caution should be used when selecting an employer. See the school, try to speak with some of the other teachers and make sure expectations on both sides are clear. More and more, a TEFL/TESOL Certificate will be required.

Speaking of expectations, North African countries such as Morocco, Tunisia and Egypt have a solid demand for English. All the comments mentioned above for the Americas apply here. However, in this region, it is necessary to be even more scrutinizing when it comes to choosing a school. Definitely go online before arrival to find out which schools have good/bad reputations. Secure a contract before you begin working. Promises, in this region, that are too good to be true probably are. Lastly trust your instincts. Using caution in the begining when selecting a school will pay off in the end as this is one of the most exciting regions in the world to spend time.

Western Europe poses the most challenges because the start- up expenses and cost of living are higher as opposed to other countries mentioned above as well as the visa restrictions that apply for Non- EU residents. Despite these obstacles, this part of the world maintains a strong demand for English teachers, however here more than anywhere else it requires you to be active when searching (for both housing and employment)and have TEFL certified to secure employment.

Lastly, Eastern Europe aggresively seeks English teachers and there is support for locating housing. Despite the fact that many Eastern European countries have been added to the EU, currently there are no restrictions on Non-EU residents seeking work. Turkey which balances between Europe and the Middle-east promises university jobs, housing assistance and very good pay for those who posess a TEFL/TESOL Certificate.

One Upmanship

SalamsIt’s the Monday before I get married and I’ve been meaning to write up something on my experiences with all the weddings I’ve had through summer and before. Now seems like a good time to do it because I’ve got an insider perspective to add to it as well.One of the root evils, in my humble opinion, connected to the subject of weddings is ‘One upmanship.’ By one upmanship, I mean one person

Road Stuff

The Government Of Dubai is launching an intensive campaign aimed at transforming Dubai from one the world's most dangerous places for road users to one of the safest within five years. Huzzah!

It can't be done, of course, not in five years, but there's nothing wrong with a bit of ambition. Why can't it be done? Well, it's all down to driver education, respect for the law (and other road users) and effective enforcement. And getting drivers to realise that they are in charge of a potentially highly-lethal weapon.

Deporting truck drivers doesn't help - they just get replaced by new truck drivers who have even less clue about the local driving 'culture' than the previous incumbents. But yes, I'd love to see proper driver education - and I'm gonna piss some of you off now by saying: on a par with Western standards. Drivers from most Western countries are able to get a UAE driving licence simply by passing an eye test and paying money. People with licences from other countries have to pass a test. If there was to be a more advanced driving test brought in (and I've seen things in the press that suggest it is in the offing), then those with licences acquired before the new test is brought in will have to undergo extra training and sit the new test. And we need to see an end to the use of wasta in acquiring licences and in dealing with accidents.

The UK ran some brilliant TV campaigns on road safety about 20-30 years ago. One showed a hammer smashing into a peach - guess who won. Another showed what happened to crash test dummies if they were not wearing seat belts.

Gulf News did a survey on seat belt use and attitudes a few weeks ago. One commenter said he never wore a seat belt while travelling in the back seat, because 'the front seat will protect me'. Sorry pal, the front seat has a steel frame and, in a crash at even modest speed, it will smash you to bits. So, seat belts for all, and proper child seats for toddlers. And no exceptions.

Respect other road users. I remember a phrase from the UK Highway Code 'never do anything that would cause another driver to slow down or change direction'. If all drivers here just thought about that every time they made a manouevre, especially entering roads from a side street or changing lanes on a highway, we would see an immediate reduction in the number of accidents.

So that's road safety sorted out.

On to road tolls. Most of the local papers carried a leaked story from the Roads & Transport Authority (RTA) last week. We are to expect an announcement from the RTA concerning the introduction of road tolls from next July on dozens of major roads throughout the Emirate of Dubai. Notwithstanding the fact that I am leaving next July, this is madness. In the absence of a realistic public transport alternative, and the continuing illegality of car-pooling (because it takes revenue away from the taxis), this amounts to nothing more than another tax on motorists. It will have minimal impact on car use. It may force a number of Echo and the Sunnymen to leave, but guess what, they'll be replaced by more of same. It may force people to consider using a minibus service (there are dozens of these that run from Sharjah/Bur Dubai/Karama to TECOM/Jebel Ali). But that's about it.

Maybe the leak was a strategic move by the RTA to see what kind of response it got. If so, and if the RTA are reading this, my response is, don't even think about tolls until you have provided serious, viable alternatives to using cars. That means 2010 really. By then the first phase of the Metro will be operational, you will have figured out how to run a bus service (and this must include bus lanes and dedicated bus roads with the magic bollards featured in my previous post) on time, we'll have some ferries and hovercraft running up and down the coast, and, most importantly, you will have fixed the climate so that people can actually walk to the access points for these facilities without dying of heat stoke. Quite an easy job really. Go for it.

Bollards!

There's been some half-hearted talk of bus lanes in Dubai of late, but of course you then have the problem of how to stop unauthorised vehicles from using these lanes. Manchester in the UK has the answer - retractable bollards.

My car is a bus - really!

Many thanks to Sickboy for finding this gem: it really made my day.

Episodes of Rahmat

The similitude of these episodes is like the rain. Not only these episodes, but even Nusoos (Quranic verses and Ahadith) bear the same similitude. Rain in itself is highly beneficial and life-giving. However, its effect on different substrata varies. If the ground is fertile, the beneficial effect is manifested in the luxurious growth. If the ground is arid and barren, then the more the rainfall,

Gulf Arabic (and Hindi?) Pidgin

It should be unsurprising that a pidgin trade-Arabic has evolved in the Gulf, given the incredibly large proportion of the population from non-Arabic-speaking countries. But this is the first info I've seen on it online. Not much actual detail (I would add the word siida "straight ahead"), but it also mentions a pidgin Hindi, which is more surprising. Sounds worth investigating...

Borat Banned

I know this is old news, but our wise and tolerant movie censors have decided that Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan will not be showing in cinemas in the UAE. I am so pleased they made that decision on my behalf, because I am too stupid to make it for myself.

And what's with Kazakhstan anyway? Before this movie happened I had heard the name, but couldn't place it accurately on a map, didn't know that it is bigger than Western Europe, had no clue that the capital was called Almaty, and was quite unaware that some of it is very pretty and they want tourists to go there. I think Sacha Baron Cohen has done them a great favour in the 'there ain't no such thing as bad publicity' department.

Maybe the movie was banned so we could cuddle up to Kazakhstan and get some cheap oil and gas from them? Just a thought.

Meanwhile, if the Chinese DVD Lady is reading this, please swing by, my dirhams are waiting.

Iraqi Blogs on Maktoob

Another unknown community of Iraqi bloggers can be found at Maktoob. There are 477 Iraqi blogs in Arabic on that site.

Maktoob Blogs.

Search for "Iraq" under countries.

Iraqi Atheist

With religious politics creating havoc in Iraq maybe there is another way. Cue Iraqi Atheist. I'll let him introduce himself in his own words:

I will be writing mainly about Religion and Politics but I may sometimes write about current events, my friends and family. I know there will be some communist old generation atheists, but, with all due respect, I don't believe they are authentic atheists, there might be some, but the majority of them, from what I have seen, was simply practicing social hypocrisy "Mujamala in Iraqi". Their time was different and frantically better that this time. I believe that I have achieved a huge thing not getting dragged into the abyss of religion, and I would love to hear from someone like me....

Arabic – the language of peace اللغة العربية - لغة السلام

Arabic could be the language of peace.

If Americans were able to speak Arabic, we just might be able to bridge the gaping cultural abyss that currently divides us.

If Americans could speak Arabic, we would be able to converse with friends and reason with enemies in real time and with real emotion.

In both Jordan and Syria I, at times, agreed with and, at other times, argued with storeowners, taxi drivers, university students, university professors, policemen, soldiers and many government officials in their own language. It was quite a “trip” for them to hear someone defending (and sometimes criticizing) America. Many have never heard any human being speak such sentiments in their own language. We often disagreed radically on many issues and sometimes the debates were quite heated. At the end of these arguments, however, we usually became friends and respected one another much more than could have ever happened via an interpreter or any other means of communication or interaction.

If Americans could speak Arabic, we could more easily influence Arab media. There are some Americans who appear on Aljazeera, but it is a rare occurrence - especially Americans who learned Arabic in school and not at home as children of native speakers.

What happens when Americans can really speak Arabic? Here is a name for you to research: Hume Horan. He recently passed away. He was a career diplomat and Arabic speaker in the United States government. He learned Arabic in Lebanon and Tunisia (I believe). His Arabic was so good that it scared Arab government officials. The Saudis did not want an American who could speak Arabic so well (and understand the culture) on their streets mixing with the locals! Ha! They were afraid that he might give them a second opinion and cause them to really consider other viewpoints.

If Americans could speak Arabic, so much would be different. But let’s not focus on the woulds and coulds. We need Arabic learning and teaching in the United Sates and the world from a young age.

If we must talk about the war on terrorism, let’s consider that it is also a war against cultural misunderstandings and lack of communication in real time with real people. There is so much good to be exchanged between all cultures. Understanding one another might just prevent future wars.

Mega Taters

This is a potato plant only four days after the first shoots popped out of the ground. Unbelievable!

And I have no idea what the things in the other picture are - they just grew. But they're very pretty and I'm sure I'll work out what they are eventually.

Ten Reasons For Not Blogging

OK fans, here how it is: I haven't seriously blogged for a while for a number of reasons.

1) Too Bloody Busy

2) Chronic Ideas Shortage

3) MamaDuck keeps you updated with the gardening, cooking and thespian activities

4) Nobody's upset me enough lately to provoke a blog

5) I'm trying not to highlight any bad crap about Dubai

6) I'm trying to think positive thoughts about Dubai

7) My head's full of goats, cheese and doing manly things for Amazon warriors (blame my panto character!)

8) There is no number eight

9) Or nine

10) Or ten

So now you know. Normal service will be restored as soon as I get an idea!

Darbouna دربونه

Karim is a multilingual Iraqi in Switzerland. He posts artistic and journalistic reviews and reflections in Arabic, French and English.

His blog is called Darbouna, an Iraqi name for 'small back alley.'

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Iraqi Mojo

Iraqi Mojo is an Iraqi American posting his memories of Iraq and the U.S.

New: 1
Total: 219

Purification through Salaah

Hazrat Esa (alaihis salaam) once passed by a river. There he saw a beautiful and elegant looking bird lying in a puddle of mud and dirt. The bird's entire body was covered with filth. He then noticed this bird come out of the mud and then dive into the river until it was clean and beautiful again. Thereafter, the bird once again flew into the dirt and mud and became covered with filth. Once more,

Onomatopoeia in Arabic

I love onomatopoeia in English. Zap, Bang! Arabic has this linguistic phenomenon as well. Here is an example: غمغم /ghamghama/, which means to mutter or murmur (murmur is onomatopoeia in English!). The verb تمتم /tamtama/means the same and I think it is also an example of onomatopoeia.

Just an FYI...

Learning Arabic in Jordan

I spent the entire summer in Jordan working with American students, who were studying Arabic at the University of Jordan. It was a wonderful experience. I really fell in love with Jordan. Living there gave me many opportunities to meet and speak with real Jordanians, who were really living in Jordan. Living in a country is an excellent way to become familiar with current thought, life, and language.

The University of Jordan has a generic program for foreign students that is quite similar to that found at Damascus University. I was quite surprised to see that there were many similarities between the two. The classrooms looked similar, the language center looked similar, the staff was similarly busy running to and fro being most helpful - usually.

I met quite a few American and foreign students while I was there. It seemed to me, as I might have expected, that the private programs at the language center took precedence over the normal in-house courses. They seemed to receive more support and attention from the administration.

I learned a great deal about how foreign language programs are run in the Arab world. It is great that there are so many native Arabic speakers out there interested in teaching Arabic to us gringos. Unfortunately, I witnessed an unpleasant amount of paralyzing bureaucracy and careerism during my stay in Jordan in the program. I suppose this is a problem all over the world, but there is something about the region that increases this. I am not a psychologist so I will stop the speculation.

On a more positive note, I also witnessed some of the best Arabic teaching I have ever seen and some of the most generous teachers and administrators one could hope to encounter.

And wow, the food was sooooo great!

More details about my experience to come…

I'm back

مرحباً بكم

I guess I still get quite a few hits everyday. I think I might emerge from the shadows and whisper sweet nothings, that are really somethings to some, into this blog. It seems that lots of people all over the world want to learn about learning and teaching Arabic. مبروك عليكم

جرمي

Bahraini Blogger Blocked!

One of Bahrain's most popular blogs, Mahmood's Den, has been blocked by the Bahraini Government. So much for freedom of speech under a democratically-elected Government.

UPDATE 2nd November: following a meeting between Mahmood and MinInf, and his agreement to pull 4 articles about the Bandergate scandal, the block has been lifted.

Mother, what can I give you?

After having reached the height of his career a man felt a duty to repay his mother back for all that she had done for him.He asked, "Mother, what can I give you? What can I do for you? I sincerely wish to repay you for the sacrifices you made for me and for all the love you have showered upon me."Mother looked surprised and said, "Why do you think about it? It was my duty so I did it, you don't

How to give orders in Angass

I'm researching Chadic imperatives at the moment, so I opened Angass Manual - written by H. D. Foulkes, Captain (late R. F. A.), Political Officer, Nigeria in 1915) to the appropriate section, and found it to consist solely of the following advice:

The Imperative is of the same form as the rest of the verbal forms, only uttered with the necessary tone of authority.

I suppose it's too much to expect an Edwardian captain to be able to transcribe tones, but I couldn't read that without bursting out laughing.

The book gets even better, with such cringeworthy gems as this "explanation" for phonological processes:

"The Angass, like most negroes, have a nice ear, and they endeavour to prevent harsh sounds coming together."

I particularly like how he explains that Angass grammar is really simple:

"The language is so simple in construction that I am hoping a study of it may help in elucidating the groundwork of more elaborated Negro languages."

since anything he can't get to grips with must not be part of its grammar:

"The only difficulty - but it is a very real one - in the colloquial is the apparently capricious employment of a large number of particles, the use of which, though immaterial from a grammatical point of view, is, however, necessary in practice, for without them the sentence certainly loses its flavour, and seemingly some of its sense, in that an ordinary man cannot understand a phrase unless it is enunciated exactly in the way he is accustomed to hearing it, and the omission or transposition of a word bothers him considerably."

هلللللللللللللللللللللللللللللللللللة ومية هلة Repeated Post:

الأخوات والإخوة ترى شلش كام ينشر كتاباته بنفسه على هذا الموقع، وأول ما نشره "اخاف احجي وعلي الناس .... وحدك بالساحة شلش، شد حيلك وروح بفالك

أخوك عماد خدوري

أو كما يقول, هذي "أحسن هدية للعيد"..

ثاني أحسن خبر سمعته اليوم, و..... لا ..... مراح اكللكم أول أحسن خبر
:p
عمركم خسارة أذا مقارين شي لشلش أو مراح تزورون البلوك مالته... ولو ما أعتقد بقة أحد عراقي شريف مقاريلة شي (عذرا من كل عراقي شريف ما قاري كتابات شلش, هذي فرصتكم, لكيتوا واحد قلبة محروك عالعراق مثلكم)
روحوا يلة بسرعة سلموا عليه, شكاعدين تتنظرون؟

rka and yya: from Arabic to Berber, or Berber to Arabic?

I had always assumed, with no particular evidence, that the frequent Algerian Arabic word rka ركا ("rot", v.) was of some obscure Arabic origin; it looks like a normal Arabic word, after all, with a triliteral root and a weak 3rd consonant and a regular conjugation (although that non-emphatic r is suspicious, in retrospect.) It even has a corresponding adjective, raki "rotten", and there is a verb ركا in Fusha, though its range of meanings ("dig", "fix", "slander"...) show no obvious similarity to "rot". So I was somewhat surprised to see, looking at Kossmann 1999:176, that it occurs throughout Northern and Southern Berber languages, with k shifting to sh in Zenati ones as expected, and can clearly be reconstructed for proto-Berber. A lot of common Algerian Arabic words of obscure origins that I had thought might be from Berber haven't held up to closer examination, but this one looks pretty solid.

So on that note, consider the irregular imperative of "come" in Algerian Arabic: not the impossible *ji, but ayya أيّا. I understand this word is also present as an irregular imperative of as ("come") in Kabyle, Chenoua, and Tumzabt; so does it come from Arabic or Berber? In Arabic, hayyaa هيّا "hurry!" seems a plausible-looking but not indisputable source for it; dropping the h would be irregular, but there are other examples (نوظ "get up", presumably from نهض). So the question hinges on how widely the word yya is distributed among Berber languages. Is it found in Chaoui, for example? Or Tamasheq, or Tashlhiyt, or even Siwa? I'm hoping some readers will be able to help answer these question... :)

The Big Adventure

Before embarking on the adventure of living abroad, we should ask ourselves some questions. As I've said before, being a foreigner in a different country is not for everyone. Understand that while of course there will be great times and new adventures there will also be times of loneliness and occasional feelings of isolation.

The first question we might ask ourselves is why do we want to leave our home country? There are many good answers to this question. But the underlying reason should express what we hope to discover, accomplish, learn and experience. Answers which tell us that we might not be making the right choice involve expressing what we want to avoid or escape by leaving. Leaving home due to unresolved issues with your country, relationships in your life or other problems you may have is never the right choice. No matter how far you travel, whatever problems, conflicts and stress you have, they come along with you in the form of "emotional baggage".

Another question we might ask is where, or rather which country is most suitable. While this is a really good question, the answer should be flexible. That is to say you should have a few countries in mind where you'd be willing to live. (Have a 1st, 2nd, 3rd choice scenario) The reason for this is simply that depending on the current economical, social and immigration situations in a given country some regions will be easier than others to find work, housing, making a life. It's important to research the potential countries of interest before making a decision.

Also consider the fact that just because you have taken your "second choice" country for now doesn't imply that you will never live in your first choice country. This is about good timing. Assuming that you are looking for an adventure and creating your own path, often taking a longer route leads to a richer experience.

Speaking of good timing... When will this great adventure start? Factors to consider are:

• How much money will you have available? You may need time to save money before you go. Even if you have a job arranged before you arrive, you will need start up money. How much depends on the average cost of living in the country of choice. For example, even though its not always possible to arrange a job in advance in South-east Asia, the cost of living is relatively low. So you could conceivably show up with about $1000 and have enough to live off of until you find a job teaching English. Conversely, planning to live in most Western European countries requires much more money to get set up.

• Putting closure on commitments in your home country. Included in this would be, leaving your existing job, making decisons on what to do with existing property and family commitments. Know that even if you own property, that, by itself, is not a reason to slow you down on living abroad and it doesn't mean you must sell. It does mean you must research your options.

• Knowledge of destination country. To decide when to go, you must know factors on the country of choice such as, hiring times, cultural expectations and local support for setting up.

Use these factors to decide when you will leave and stick to it. Actually set a date and year.

Lastly is... How? We will talk about how to set up next week.

It's a Boy! It's a Girl! No, it's an Onion!

It's been 11 days since I planted my onion and pepper seeds. Nothing happened, so I was beginning to think the seeds were duds - or, much more likely, that I'd planted them wrongly. So imagine my joy when yesterday evening I scanned the containers looking for anything green and I found this tiny little shoot!



Note: picture deliberately blurred to deter stalkers.

Flaming Bloggers

If you read the UAE Community Blog or Secret Dubai Diary, you'll be aware of some down and dirty, and frankly at times disgraceful 'exchanges of views' in the comments on some articles in the last week (especially this). Like a moron I got drawn into some of these threads. For my pains I have been misunderstood, misrepresented and insulted by people who really ought to know better.

At the end of the day there is nothing, nothing at all that you can write will stop these trolls from writing their ignorant, prejudiced and abusive garbage. And there's something about the anonymity of the Internet that just erases all pretence of civility.

Yukk.

Eid Mubarak

Enjoy!

Sahha eidkoum! and Yobe languages

And Eid Mubarak, everybody! I've already posted on the etymology of this term before, so for lack of anything new to say on it, here's a nice site I've come across: Yobe languages, with handy materials on six minor Chadic languages of Nigeria.

Eid Mubarak

EID MUBARAK!May Allah bless you and your family on this joyous day.I Love Eid PoemEid Celebration

Sadaqat al-fitr

صَوْمُ شَهْرِ رَمَََضَانَ مُعَلَّقٌ بَيْنَ السَّمَآءِ وَاْلَرَضِ وَلاَ يُرْفَعُ اِلاَّ بِزَكَاةِ الْفِطْرِSayyidina Jarir رضى الله تعالى عنه narrates that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:"The fasts of the month of Ramadaan remain suspended between heaven and earth and only through Sadaqat al-fitr they are raised to heaven." (That is, they are accepted only after Sadaqat al-fitr is paid.) [Abu

Happy Diwali

A Happy Diwali to all my Hindu buddies and lurkers.

Birthday Boy

It's my birthday! And it's the weekend! Yayyy! It's still Ramadan though, and BetterArf has a rehearsal from 8 o'clock tonight. So the plan is to do Iftar at the MOE Kempinski. I think she has invited a bunch of folks to join us, although this is meant to be a closely-guarded secret.

BetterArf got me some fab presents, including Terry Pratchett's latest book 'Wintersmith' (I love the way he always brings out a new one just in time for my birthday), and Gordon Ramsay's 'Secrets' - full of totally inspirational recipes...can't wait to get stuck in.

HSBC sent me a text message to wish me a happy birthday, but they left out the bit 'and here is some free money to help you celebrate'. Again.

And how old am I? Put it this way: this is the last year I'll be able to describe myself as 'forty-something'.

Google Earth for linguists - and more Tunisian Berber

I've been playing around with Google Earth lately, and apart from all the obvious things you do when you get a satellite picture of the earth to play with - find your house, places you've been, etc. - it became clear that the ability to create and save placemark files opened up some interesting applications for linguists. To make a linguistic map, all you have to do is:
* create a new folder for the linguistic map (menu Add > Folder);
* list villages and towns that you know speak the language;
* look up their coordinates (where necessary) on sites like FallingRain - or better yet, record them with a GPS while you're there;
* go to them in Google Earth (you can type in rather than placename) and create placemarks for them (the pin button near the bottom right corner);
* change the icons for the placemarks if you have distinctions you want to make;
* add text to the placemarks (or folder names) in the Comments field;
* save the resulting folder as a KMZ file to be reopened in Google Earth.

Google Maps won't let you draw borders in, but (where relevant) this can be handled easily enough: File > Save Image, open it in Photoshop or GIMP, add a layer (so you can see the original at any time if you mess up), and draw the borders which, if you've plotted enough points, should be pretty obvious by then anyway. Filled in in suitable monochrome, this will look nicer in print, but has disadvantages: you lose the ability to attribute lengthy text to individual points (which shows up in Google Earth if you click on them), not to mention the ability to zoom in, or see the overall topography and environment.

By way of an example (possibly relevant to my PhD plans), here's one I did earlier: Tunisian Berber - Shilha. It has a bibliography of everything I could find on Tunisian Berber under the main folder, with works on individual villages cited under their placemarks, along with quotes on the vitality of Berber there. Berber is highly endangered in Tunisia, so I used four icons to represent different stages: a ghostly grey square for places where it disappeared shortly before 1900, a small bluish square for ones where it was still spoken in the 1930s, a white and blue circle for places where it is probably still spoken, and a larger white and blue square for places where it is still spoken by almost the whole population. It is divided into four subfolders, corresponding to different regions. As you will see, these varieties, in addition to being confined to less than thirteen villages in the whole country, are rather inadequately investigated - contrast the wealth of literature on and in Kabyle, or even Tashlhiyt. I hope this "cartographic bibliography" is found to be useful.

One Point Four Billion Dirhams. Itisalot.

The lovely Etisalat have just announced a third quarter profit of Dhs 1.4 billion. This is an increase of 41% on the same period last year.

I thought we had laws against obscenity in this country.

Virtues of Charity

By Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi (r.a)1. It is mentioned in a Hadith that generosity is a great attribute of Allah Ta'ala. In other words, Allah Ta'ala is extremely generous.2. It is mentioned in a Hadith that the servant of Allah gives a small piece of bread as charity. In the sight of Allah Ta'ala that small piece increases to such an extent that it equals the size of Mt. Uhud. In other words,

Don't Postpone Joy!

Leaving your home country to face the unknown of a new culture, new career and new life style is never an easy decison and is not for everyone. The purpose of this blog is to share personal experience as well as practical advice for taking the big leap... travel and live abroad.

For many years, I was a disgruntled architect who moved from job to job and city to city hoping to find the right fit. I finally realized that the best option for me was to stop following the beaten path and create my own. However, the question was how might I go about doing this? What could I do to earn a living aside from architecture? What was I good at? At that time, as far as I knew.. not much else.

I began to ask myself, to remember, when was I happiest? Forget about money, (momentarily) forget about how. What times in my life was I happy? Well, I was happiest during the time I was working on a Master's degree in Architecture. More specifically while I was doing the study-abroad component of my training in Italy. It wasn't just Italy, it was the freedom I felt, the discovery process and being a foreigner that contributed to my happiness.

I decided that just the act of living abroad might be just the adventure I needed to jump start my spirit. I had not yet decided how long I wanted to spend outside of the country or what I would do when I returned but I knew for sure that the sheer act of travel was exactly what I needed to discover where my future lies.

After identifying what I would do post- architecture, the big questions were which country and how to make money. Ironically, this part was not particularly difficult for me. Since I had no interest in returning to school, there is only one career that is in demand in many parts of the world that I was qualified for and that is teaching English as a second language. I choose Japan because at that time it was relatively easy to find a job and no experience was required except being a native English speaker. Perfect!

From that moment on my life has been an endless adventure that still hasn't ceased to surprise me. I have no regrets and through weekly chronicles I will describe the events that have taken place since the fateful day that I left for Japan. After all, its been almost seven years that I've been living outside of the U.S. and after a few continents and many countries later, I've found myself in the south of France. I hope that by sharing my experiences and a little advice here and there that I can help others take that big leap.

Mobile Number Buggriation

Our belovéd Telecoms Regulation Authority has just announced that we have until December to sort out our mobile phone books. Currently, all mobile numbers in the UAE have the prefix '050'. If you are calling a mobile number from another local mobile, you can drop the prefix. But from December, that prefix must be dialled. Partly this is because Itisalot is running out of capacity on 050, and they are going to introduce 056 if they get any new subscribers. And of course, du will need a prefix of its own.

I met somebody who works for du the other day. The conversation went something like this:
du guy: Hi, my name is zzz and I work for du, and that's all I'm going to say about that.
me: So I'm hearing that du could use another year or two before they launch?
du guy: zzzzip.
me: ??
du guy:

Hmm. I actually sent an email to du at the end of September, explaining that I had been under the impression they would launch by the end of September and wondering what was actually happening. Sadly I have not had a reply yet. Neither has 7Days, who were getting themselves into a bit of a strop about it a while ago. Anyhoo, the current zeitgeist says they'll get something on the market by the end of this year. But really they'll need two or three years to get their act together. I'm disappointed by the current radio silence: they started off well, but have been completely absent recently. This does not inspire confidence.

Ho hum.

Basil Babies Update 2

Well I don't know about this gardening lark: I thought my basil plants would be ready for consumption by now. I mean, it's been over a week since I planted them, and all I've got are 2-leaved thingies on an inch-long stem! They look like little gaping mouths - maybe I should give them some cheese or something.



I seem to have caught the bug though (as long as it's not a mealy bug - those ugly little gits ruined BetterArf's previous attempts at hort couture). The day before yesterday I planted bell peppers, and yesterday I did some onions. Neither of those have sprouted yet either!

Aramex Update

Finally, proof that bloggers are not just loonies screaming in the wilderness. I blogged the other day about MidEast courier company Aramex. The article had been prompted by this post on a Jordanian blog (Aramex is a Jordanian company).

Somewhat amazingly, the CEO of Aramex, Fadi Ghandour, commented on Hala's original post, and invited her and any of the other commenters to meet him and talk about it. That is just one of the coolest things I've ever heard. Sadly I won't be whizzing up to Amman for the meeting, but I am really, truly impressed. First of all that somebody at Aramex read the post, and secondly that this is how he deals with it. Absolutely amazing!

Any board member from Itisalot or the TRA care to comment?

Walkin' The Plank

If you've been reading MamaDuck's Most Excellent Blog (and if not, why not?), you'll have an inkling that I've gone and got me a part in the upcoming Dubai Drama Group panto. I wouldn't have considered attempting such a thing if it had not been for a phone call BetterArf got from A Person Who Shall Not Be Named, suggesting that there was a role in the panto that would be purrfect for moi. And BetterArf was thinking 'hmm, could be a part in it for me too!'.

We used to be pretty active in DDG until we moved out to the sticks of Djelybeybi and just getting to rehearsals became almost impossible. But this is our last year in DoBuy so we thought it would be bluddigoodfun to give it a go. Also BetterArf and I have never actually been in a show together.

So we went off to the audition. Now, I'm no great shakes as an actorrr, but I can do funny, and this is a funny role. BetterArf is a pro, of course. She read her audition piece and got a standing ovation. I mean, like, wow, you had to be there. Although if you weren't there you could have probably heard her in Sharjah and Abu Dhabi.

Rehearsals start on Friday. We will of course be plugging the show relentlessly and insisting that you all buy tickets 'cos this is likely to be the last time you can see this particular blogger making an eejit of himself on stage in DoBuy, and certainly the only time he'll attempt to do so in a Welsh accent look you.

Oh yes, 'Walkin' The Plank' = 'Treading The Boards'. 'tis Treasure Island and we is Pirates aharrrrr!

where am I?

This blog is not dead. This blog is not alive. I'm not sure what to say. I hope to go to a website. I think a website would be more useful.

There is lots of good info in my blog about learning Arabic. Good luck mining!

Jeremy

The Needy One

Prepared by Muhammad AlshareefShaykh Sa'eed ibn Musfir tells the following account...I was walking out of the Haram (the Ka'bah in Makkah) when I saw a man begging from everyone that passed by him. Just then a man who had parked his tinted Mercedes excessively close to the Haram in a designated VIP parking walked passed the beggar on his way to his car. As he pulled the keys out and the alarm

***mex

I had a very pleasant lunch with a client of mine a few days ago, and he suggested that they would use ***mex (well-known MidEast courier company) to deliver a CD of stuff to me for the project we are working on. I must have done a big-time cringe, or fallen off my chair, because everyone around the table looked a bit startled by my reaction to the name.

I have blogged about this company previously:

Aramex Does it Again
Banks And Couriers

And today I came across this post:

Kharamex

Which reminded me of a phone call I had maybe four or five months ago from a salesman from ***mex. He wanted my company to sign up for a contract. I think I really spoiled his day. I told him that having been on the receiving end of their service, I would not wish to inflict that on anyone I was sending stuff to - actually what I think I said was 'I would rather die than give money to ***mex'.

He wanted to know more so I told him. Then he started begging a bit, offering free stuff and extra discount. I explained that they could be as brilliant as they liked collecting stuff from me, and I have no doubt that they can do that rather wonderfully because that's where their money comes from, but if they insist on bothering the recipient for idiotic requests for location (when it is clearly written on the package, and especially if they have delivered to that address previously) and lying about when it will be delivered, I will not sign up for that. I want people to be pleased to receive stuff from me, not to feel harassed.

Foo. I felt really really sorry for the guy calling me, really I did. Really. But hey, until ***mex gets its act together on the delivery side (oh and they've only had 24 years to get things organised), I will get out my barge-pole and not touch them with it.

More Time Wasting

Also on the 'What Famous Leader Are You' site is a test to determine which blockbuster movie you resemble. Now this is weird. BetterArf recently bought DVDs of a load of Frank Capra movies, and she lurves them all to bits. So how apt is it that I am...

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

!